Me minus salvation
Something in me eats me deeply, desires that surges like waves.
The very reason why I hate me, for being so selfish, I wonder almost every time , how can this be, is it really me- being human. If that's it , now I know what is more dreadful than anything , anything that makes me human.
Being a brother, a lover, a father, they all pave me to end of me.
I have a selfish desire which I have to keep, not for every one to see, I have a secret to hide because I fear being caught living as human. Is this the reason why people conceived a mask!!
I say am firm, I am upright, true to my character but do they know how much I scuffle with the likeness of me belonging to this earth.
Dust I was dust I become, even my heart made of dirt, how dare i say my heart is pure and clear as crystal. Maybe that's the reason why I can't be of heaven for I am made of earth. How i wish dust were from heaven!!
My love, am sorry ill sooner leave you, the sooner the better. I have stayed with you long and the mystery is gone. New love awaits for me, more fascinating than you were, she, made with more elegance , am sure heaven took time to draw her face. We had our time , I needed somebody to hold me for then, am glad you held well- well its good bye for now. Your mystery held me long enough till some one a bit more proficient came and replaced, I can't lie to you anymore now that's my alibi. Am just human.
Top is where my place is, i want it empty and for me alone, I won't mine pulling down few as long as am at the tip of it. And well if it gets heavy I wont mind shaking off handful of ties, of course nobody like strings attached, much easier when unhooked. Man are means to my end, lately my principle took some rough patches so I made some changes to suit my situation- it does not make a difference so long nobody gets killed. Everybody is entitled to opportunity, there must be some equity . I care less because everybody would have done the same had they had sense barring to mine. It's just how the world runs, well I too have dozens of mouth to feed and not a crime either.
The feeling does not leave me, the desire is as real as The flesh, I don't know where i imbibe the traits but it's mine forever to keep. Why I give, for i expect to be reciprocated, not here for charity but for a social cause to me, what would society be if they don't have the best of me. I am part of it and I should preserve myself for it as an epitome for them to see who never cared an inch.
Is it sin to be human? If yes, then I am very much part of the crime as the creator. I can't help it when am made this way, an antidote would help if it does exist. Not sure what kind of freedom they are yelling for down town but am sure this is what I want freedom from. Is death, the solution? what if it still follows me until end of eternal, what if my soul too made up of ashes from the shore. How do I reckon this? My life time went by hating myself and till eternal! Yeah It's cold in here, took me to the point where am about to meet death but far enough to let me live with .
friend, you were nearer than my lover, told my stories which were hidden to my lover but the trust is gone for now. They say the world function with only one currency, the trust. Well you know now why we can't be what we were. Strangers we meet and that's how we depart, don't take it to your heart, am only human and heart made of dust, the trust turned to rust, it's time to say good bye. Don't take it to your heart pal, don't take it to your heart.
I wondered on what mom said, I cried high and loud when I was born, of all the emotion why cry when I could have smiled, laughed, thoughtful or thoughtless . Uhhu All human born that way, I ,not the first one. Could not help but be convicted the day I set my foot on earth, convicted of the gross crime I knew not of but by virtue of being human.
I need my attorney to fight my acquittal, but nobody of trust worthy and they themself fighting on their behalf to be free of the judgement.
It did infest every soul, Me, whom I trust most with much symptoms. It's a sad world , sadder than what poems expressed, flooded with selfish ,sick souls. I hear no cries but sees perfected expression face, an art we have had learned in helplessness. They call it strength but a sight of death people walking, blood rushing, heart beating, biologically alive animals, they survive; so are we alive? undo which definition?
My confession, not a secret anymore for this disease is on all race, white and blue it do not discriminate, all it knows is to make sure the gestation of a perfect human takes place, and there lies the inception of disease, a perfect human, a perfect being.
And everyone is a perfect human non is less than thee, there lies the flaw, a perfect being with perfect desire, with perfect passion , chiseled with perfect emotion. Thus every one is perfect in itself being a human and human, being itself is sin, a crime. And yes I am a human, can someone somewhere please do something about it!!
